6 a.m. Conversations

You ever look at your partner and think, “Now, Lord… this can’t be the same person I married”?

Yeah, been there done that.

See, nobody tells you that the person you say “I do” to is going to evolve…sometimes into a version you don’t fully recognize. Life has a funny way of growing people up, breaking them down, and stretching them in ways that don’t always fit your comfort zone. And when that happens, grace has to show up where patience runs out.

I had to learn that growth doesn’t always look pretty. It doesn’t come with a progress report or a warning label. One day, you’re vibing; the next, you’re arguing about why they suddenly need “space” or why they started eating kale. Growth can look like distance, disinterest, or just change you didn’t approve of. But here’s the thing, God doesn’t just grow you; He grows them too.

I remember a season when my communication was trash, straight-up garbage. I thought “I’m fine” was an acceptable response to everything. Meanwhile, she was over there trying to have real conversations, and I was ducking accountability like a pro. It took time, prayer, and a few hard truths before I realized: if I want grace for where I’m still growing, I have to extend grace for where she is too.

The problem is, most couples want growth without the growing pains. You want your partner to evolve, just not in ways that make you uncomfortable. You want maturity, but you also want things to stay familiar. But you can’t have both. Sometimes love requires you to let go of the version of your partner that existed five years ago so you can make room for who they’re becoming today.

And listen, growth is rarely synchronized. One of you might be deep into self-reflection while the other’s just trying to make it through Monday. That’s normal. The goal isn’t to grow at the same speed — it’s to grow in the same direction.

Here’s the funny part: we’ll pray for God to change our spouse, but the moment He does, we catch an attitude. “You’ve changed.” Well yeah…that’s what we prayed for!

Grace means allowing people to evolve without holding them hostage to who they used to be. It means realizing you’re not in a competition for who’s more mature; you’re on the same team, trying to win the same game.

So before you judge how your partner’s changing, ask yourself this: are you giving them room to grow, or are you punishing them for not staying the same?

Loving by HIS word–“Bear with each other and forgive one another…forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13) Grace is the gift you give when love matures past convenience.  

6 a.m. Quote— “If you want grace for your growth, give it for theirs.”

Marlon Dean–6 a.m. Conversations “Where love meets faith, one morning at a time”